aplacecalledhome

Standing outside looking over a place called home,
I couldn't stay.
Leaves have fallen, wind keeps blowing colder,
winter's on its way.
My bags are packed, the car is waiting,
my greatest fear you left alone.
Once again my life sweet darling,
I've made my bed, it's time to roam.

Long live freedom where I come from,
place that I call home.
Standing outside, saying goodbye,
it tears me up to go.

Thousand miles oceans between us, I think about her everyday.
This plane rides long, these wheels keep rolling,
I call to see if she's OK.
It's dark and lonely all by herself,it tears me up to walk away.
This time my sweet Nagyi darling, I pray I'll see you once again.

Long live freedom where I come from,
place that I call home.
Standing outside, saying goodbye,
it tears me up to go.

lovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove

Its going to suck going back to school...only 4 weeks until winter break!



Also, its my sister's 24th birthday today, happy birthday Megan! <3

Scylla and Charybdis

I have nothing to say lately. I'm the most unmotivated person I know. I hardly ever do the thigns I used to. I used to play guitar everyday, but I rarely play it at all now. I used to draw all the time, but I can never get motivated. I used to be athletic, but now that swimming is over for good, I'm gaining weight. all I do is sleep my life away. School is such a waste to me right now. The classes I'm taking are worthless (I didn't get to pick my classes fist semester) Of course I want to be in school, but I don't want to be taking classes that have to no worth to my major (I don't even know what thats going to be! ugh) I'm debating between majoring in biology, art, or something else similar to those two. I hate this though, because biology and art don't have much in common. Even my advisor said I was in between a rock and a hard place. Whatever, I'll just become a tattoo artist and do crappy tattoos out of my room for $30 each for the rest of my life.

I really love art a lot. Every piece of art I create has my everything put into it. I spend a lot of time and effort on the things I do. I love photograpgy, I love graphic arts, I want to be involved with that. I also want a stable career that I'll be able to have fun with.....but then again, I also love biology. I love animals, I love nature. I love the environment and I want to help it. I want to study plants and animals and life in general. I don't know what I want; I don't know whats best...

I want to stay here forever, in my room, in my house, in Meriden, Connecticut....but I also I want to see the whole world. I want to live in Japan, I want to go all over Europe. I want to see the Amazon River. I want to see the castles in Scotland. I want to know what it feels like to be feet away from a lion in the African deserts. I want to see war torn Iraq, and visit the islands of the Bahamas. I want to see the Australian outback. I want to see it all. But I'm scared. I'm scared to leave home. I'm scared to fly on a plane. I'm scared to be alone, or lost. I'm scared of the unknown.

I hate the typical college lifestyle of parties and drinking and smoking and beer pong and sex and drugs and rock and roll. I'd rather do nothing than go to a party. I haven't made very many friends at CCSU, but thats mostly because all the people I do meet there are "ridiculous party animals" and would never want to spend a Friday night hanging out with me sober. I miss my highschool friends that I used to see everyday. I miss the past. I miss skating with Amanda and making videos of ourselves dancing. I miss her all the time even though shes right down the street. I miss Kirsten and building forts in her basement and sleepovers, and going down to the swamp to catch frogs. I miss her a lot too. Its hard to see someone who you've known forever move across the country. I miss riding bikes up at Holy Angels with Mike, swimming in his pool and going on adventures. But they've all moved on with the paths that their lives have taken, and I suppose I have too. It sucks though, because it seems as though the three best friends I grew up with that had such an impact on my life are pretty much gone now. I have hope to salvage one of these friendships, but its hard to be optimistic about it. I just hope she reads this and sees how much I care about her and I want her in my life again, and how I wish that we could go back to that summer a few years ago, where everything was perfect, and all we did was skateboard (or try at least), take late night swims in your pool, make videos, play nintendo, try to get me a boyfriend (it worked...twice!) and just be best friends.


I just gave Oscar a bath, he was really smelly. My room is a mess, but I don't feel like cleaning it. I want to play Nintendo, but I can't decide which Zelda game is calling for me. Its a saturday night, and I'm pathetic, but I don't care.


-Kaitlyn

He lives in (out of) a garbage can

Dear Oscar,

Stay out of my room. Why do you want to eat my garbage? Why are paper plates your favorite thing to snack on? Why do you love to spread garbage all over the house? How come you're smart enough to open the drawer with the bread in it? Why do you eat used tissues (ew), week old garbage (ew), and out of the cat's litter box (ew)? How come you are so cute but you smell so bad? How is it possible that I hate you so much, but I love you more than anything at the same time?





-Kaitlyn

Myspace? Nah, just regular space

I love space. I love the universe. If I wasn't so bad at math, I'd absolutely be an astronomer, or an astrophysicist or a cosmologist. I love to just sit outside at night and look at all the stars. It kinda makes me feel sick to think about how enormous the universe is. Is is infinite or finite? If it is finite, what happens when you get to the "end"? Does it just stop? If it's infinite, how can that be? Does it change? There is absolutely without a doubt that there is life -initelligent life for that matter- throughout the universe. The earth's size and place in our galaxy is so insignifigant to everything else out there, so there must be lifeforms elsewhere. The earth is so small compared to everything else, we might as well just not exisit at all.

This gif was posted in a Livejournal community that I belong to, make sure you watch the whole thing!:

[I tried to resize it to fit, but photobucket is being lame, so heres the original gif in the LJ post if you want to see it fullsized: CLICK!]




Some people raised some interesting points in their comments in regards to this:

"and, of course, you can shrink that just as small as well. Its all in perspective. Such is the scope of reality."

"Well, I realized that nothing I ever do will ever have any effect on anything."

"Since the Sun's about 4-5 billion years old, that means that best current estimates are that the Sun's halfway through its lifespan now. If we humans make it out of our first 100,000 years or so of our existence to last that many billions of years, we'll have figured out how to go elsewhere by then.And the hugeass stars aren't supernovas. Supernovas are when hugeass stars reach the end of their lives and go BOOM. Novas are when less-than-hugeass stars go BOOM. The Sun isn't big enough to even make a nova; it'll just swell from its current diameter of about 1.4 million km to become a red giant of about 140 million km, and then shrink to become a white dwarf. But even as a red giant, it won't be near as big as those hugeass stars in the animation; picture the red-giant Sun as somewhere between Aldebaran and Betelgeuse." -credit goes to arthur_sc_king

So I guess this raises many questions. I could go on and on about intergalactic phenomena, (black holes,ftw!) but I digress.

Whats the meaning of life? If we are this small, how could we possibly have a purpose in the whole scheme of things? My best guess is that the meaning of life is just to live, however, I am not a very religious person, so I do not believe that everything was created by "god" (although when things like this are so hard to explain, its almost hard to not turn to a god and think that he/she/it created it all.) I feel like life is here on earth is a fluke in some ways, that we just sorta happened, kinda like the universe "just sort of happened," according to the Big Bang Theory.

This also raises more questions. What was around before the Big Bang? What caused the Big Bang to happen? Why did it happen when it did? Did the Big Bang really happen?
It is just a theory afterall.

I can't talk about this anymore, makes me have anxiety haha

-Kaitlyn

LOOK OUT

attn: residents of Arch Street in New Britain
re: dumbassery

Why do you people find the need to conduct your business in the middle of the street? Why is it necessary for you to walk -no, sprint- across the street without looking? Why do you lurk behind parked cars, then jump out in front of mine so I have to slam on my brakes to avoid hitting you? Do you really think its a good idea to walk with your 3 babies jammed into one stroller in the road when there's a perfectly good sidewalk not 5 feet away? I do not understand.

And to the man with 4 pitbulls, please put them on a leash, because unlike you, I'd hate to see those dogs get hit by a car.


-Kaitlyn

These pretzels are making me thirsty

"So here we are today. I'm glad to be alive. There's so many things to do. I'm trying to do what's right. I'm going somewhere in life. Somewhere in life. I'm living how I want being what I am. I'm finding for myself. I'll be satisfied in the end. Life should be fun not a constant race. There's a lot to learn and I'll go at my own pace." -"Seize Life," Insted



-KRob

Think you've got a choice?

I thought I'd post the lyrics to the song that inspired my URL. I think these represent how I've been feeling about things lately.


Scream so many things
None of which will be heard
Stronger minds a new direction
Intelligence builds our word
See the time for us to unite
And set the others straight
Building for the future
Moving through the ones that wait

We scream to say
You better listen

We’re in a time of tragic need
Of definite despair
Where hatred is the way of life
And no one seems to care
We must keep moving forward
Cannot think about the past
For all our days are numbered
And the next could be our last

We scream to say
You better listen

Now we’ve come to one conclusion
And we have to stick with it
Seeing minds turn to hate
And attitudes turn to shit
Screaming for the future
Our voices breaking loud
Look into ourselves
See the answers found


Uniform Choice always seems to have the answer!